Do you know someone who just oozes confidence? They walk into a room and you’re like “damn - I want to be that confident.”

Well, you can be!

Confidence is a verb - it's an action word. It's not something we possess, or have. It's something we choose.

It exists in small actions we make towards ourselves, that affect our inner mind-set, and our outer attitude.

Confidence actions can include:

- Positive thinking

- Quelling negative talk patterns

- Dating yourself

- Setting small goals for you to accomplish and feel instantly better (example: making your bed)

- Wearing armour that makes you feel good (choosing your lounge wear to make you feel like a badass)

If we think of confidence as a verb, and not an elusive attitude to possess, it becomes a practice that we can implement into our daily lives. We can use those small acts to strengthen our connection and belief in ourselves.

The more we choose to act confidently towards the person we want to be, how we want to treat ourselves and others, then we start creating and cultivating more confident energy in our lives.

The moment you decide to act confident (even if it just feels like you’re wearing a mask when you start), is the moment you tell the universe: hey, I’m a confident badass and I deserve to be treated as such.

Now go out there and act like the confident mother f*cker you were destined to be.

“Natural intelligence intends that every living thing become the highest form of itself and designs us accordingly.”
― Sonya Renee Taylor, The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, especially during lock down when things were slower. One of my favourite recent reads was “The Body is Not An Apology” written by Sonya Renee Taylor.

One of Sonya’s biggest points is that radical self-love isn’t some place we arrive to - it’s what we already are. By default, we ARE radical self love. We are born that. The rest of our lives is spent being taught otherwise. So radical self-love isn’t a destination to search, but rather it’s a home inside you that’s waiting for you to come back. An acorn exists preprogrammed to become an oak tree. You are an acorn, radical self-love is your oak tree.

“The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized sensation. For this reason, we have often turned away from the exploration and consideration of the erotic as a source of power and information, confusing it with its opposite, the pornographic. But pornography is a direct denial of the power of the erotic, for it represents the suppression of true feeling. Pornography emphasizes sensation without feeling.

The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire.”
― Audre Lorde, Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power

“Wild woman are an unexplainable spark of life. They ooze freedom and seek awareness, they belong to nobody but themselves yet give a piece of who they are to everyone they meet.
If you have met one, hold on to her, she'll allow you into her chaos but she'll also show you her magic.”
― Nikki Rowe

Neon shoots are such a fun way to experiment creatively! I will always have a soft spot for natural boudoir, especially shooting outdoors, but there is something just so ethereal and delightful about working with neons and creating these fun aesthetics. As a deep lover of Sci-Fi, it really just speaks to my nerd side and makes me feel like I’ve transported my studio into another dimension.

Neon shoots will be available for past clients to book starting in September!

““I embrace my shadow self. Shadows give depth and dimension to my life. I believe in embracing my duality, in learning to let darkness and light, peacefully co-exist, as illumination.”
”

— Jaeda DeWalt

A lot of photographers call themselves light chasers, and while I relate to that to some degree, I definitely feel myself chasing the shadows more than the light. I would describe my work as dark and moody, I love depth to my images, rich delicious tones, and moooooooood.

I tried being a light and airy boudoir photographer when I just started - I felt like that’s what I was ‘supposed’ to do. Boudoir was ‘supposed’ to be glamorous and bright. But, over time, I found my true voice, and my authentic style. I loved leaning into shadows and darkness. The mystery behind a intentionally obscured face. Leaning into the shadows of both an image, and life, excites me tremendously.

It’s not until we learn to see, appreciate, and honour our shadow selves can we truly accept and love our full selves. And boudoir, to me, is no longer about being glamorous, and bright. It’s about recognizing and celebrating those darker things about ourselves that we try to hide, or ignore. It’s about putting in the work - committing to embrace our full selves, shadows and all. The night must follow the day, and with it comes it’s own beauty and illumination. It brings the moon, and the stars. Mystery and wonder. And so does your shadow side.

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This set shot with the wonderful Secret Waters Photo and Reclamation Dress Design.

I always get this conundrum with new clients, “do I want to shoot indoor or outdoor!?”

Ultimately, the answer is: both, duh.

But I know we can’t all double down on a session and have that heightened investment. It’s such a hard choice, but I’m going to lead you through some questions you can ask yourself that will hopefully help you decide which session is right for you!

Is this your first time in front of the camera?

If this is your first time in front of the camera, especially your first time doing boudoir, I would highly recommend starting your journey with an indoor session. Myself, or whichever boudoir photographer you choose to entrust, will be able to have much more control over the lighting, environment, privacy, and mood. Therefore they will be able to give you that much more of their undivided attention. You’ll be able to fully sink into the experience without the distraction of bugs, dirt, worry about your wardrobe, or the possibility of hikers stumbling onto your shoot (this is RARE, but if you choose to shoot anywhere that isn’t a private backyard, a very real possibility).

Have you done an indoor/outdoor session before?

This should be an obvious question, but if your last shoot was an indoor boudoir session and you want to try something different – than perhaps shooting outdoor is that fresh new look you should try! Vice versa, if you’ve done a lot of outdoor shoots, maybe trying indoor would be fun.

What mood are you going for?

Are you mostly saving really dark and moody photos of babes in window-sils, or door-frames? It can be difficult to achieve a truly dark and moody backlit look outdoors. You can definitely come close, but it still very ethereal over-all. If you’re mood board for your shoot is leaning towards a certain aesthetic, it may be leading you towards your decision. And, this leads me to my next point!

Have you started a mood board?

Pinterest is your best friend when deciding what look you want to achieve in your session! While every photographer dreads their clients coming in and demanding a recreation of a specific Pinterest photo/pose, it can be super helpful when trying to find inspiration or a general tone for your shoot!

What’s your style?

If your wardrobe for your shoot is 7” heels and the newest set from Agent Provacateur, maybe outside isn’t the best fit for you. But dang, would that outfit look smoking indoors! Your personal style and preferences will help guide you towards what shoot is best suited for you!

Do you have a location in your mind that you just can’t stop dreaming about?

If you can’t stop day dreaming about a shoot at your favourite forest grove, or somewhere really special to you, that may be a sign that your meant to take your boudie session to the wilderness. Of course, not all locations are good for boudoir – we need to be mindful of other people and your privacy and safety. If you have a location in mind for an outdoor shoot it’s best to do some research and run it past your boudoir photographer!

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That’s it! I hope these questions will help guide you on your decision making process. Now, of course, a boudoir blog post wouldn’t be complete without a boudoir session! These photos were taken with fellow local photographer Riske Boudoir. We had so much fun working together outdoors, and I can’t wait to make more outdoor magic this summer!