daily rituals to grow your self-confidence | victoria bc boudoir photography

One of the biggest blocks I have to work through with potential clients is “I’m just not confident enough.”

And with thoughts like that blocking your path – of course you’re not going to feel confident enough. You’re already psyching yourself out for anything you want to do and creating a safe opt-out for your subconscious.

So - how do we get the f*ck out of our own way, and start living the confident, embodied, badass versions of ourselves that we want to be?

Practice, baby. Practice.

Just like self-love, confidence is a practice. It’s an on going process, commitment, and intentional choice. You become more confident by allowing yourself to be more confident. Sounds counter-intuitive - but you’ll never believe you’re a badass, confident, capable babe until you start treating yourself like one.

But, how do you start?

Here are 4 small daily rituals you can use to boost your confidence, and to start treating yourself like the unstoppable force that you are.

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1.

Stop apologizing for things that don’t need to be apologized for.

Saying “sorry” to every small thing is often attributed to being a “Canadian” trait – but it’s mostly tricking your subconscious into believing that you have to apologize for your very existence. Stop apologizing for the space you take up, or for just being a human. Learn to unlearn the word “Sorry” from your vocabulary (unless the situation actually requires an apology - then of course, feel free!) But I’m talking about those times you can’t make a decision fast enough to appear someone else’s expectations. Or the time you were 2 minutes late. Or apologizing for asking a favour from a friend. Instead of saying “sorry” try “thank you.” Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for your patience as I made that decision. Thank you for doing that favour for me when I needed help. By shifting from “sorry” to “thank you” you are taking time to be grateful, instead of being apologetic for very human things.

This can be flipped around to your body, too. Stop apologizing for how your body exists in the world. Or how you wish it looked. And instead flip it to gratitude. Learn to say thank you to your body for allowing you to experience the wonders of life. For allowing you to hug your friends, laugh, play, experiencing joy.

2.

Look yourself in the mirror more often, and hype yourself up.

The next time you catch your reflection, make it a point to notice something positive about yourself. Take the time to compliment yourself - to really actually compliment yourself. The more you can start to do this on a regular basis, the more natural it will become. Soon you’ll be catching glimpses of yourself in car windows and throwing positive affirmations at yourself like it’s second nature.

3.

Practice your love language.

What is your love language? What is the last time you practiced it on yourself? Are you a touch lover? Then maybe spend extra time in the morning indulging in a skin care routine that has you pampering yourself and giving yourself a little massage. Are you a gifter? Maybe it’s time to purchase yourself something that will remind you of your commitment to loving yourself. A words of affirmation? Write your favourite affirmation or mantra on your bathroom mirror so you can see love letters from yourself everyday. Speaking our own love language allows us to feel loved and supported - and enables that feeling to blossom into a quite confidence in our daily lives.

4. Journal/meditate/reflect on what your needs and boundaries are.

Needs + boundaries may not sound sexy or confident - but they are the foundation of asking for what you want and need out of life. The best way to discover what your needs, desires, hell yeses and f*ck no’s are - is by self-reflecting. When you start to identify these parts of yourself, you can start asking for them in your life. Or start saying no to things that prevent you from living your most exciting and authentic life. It’s too easy to go through life on auto-pilot, drifting along fulfilling the expectations and needs of those around us. It takes more self-awareness and confidence to know our needs, and to ask for them to be met. But you deserve to live a life that fills you up and makes you happy - so ask for what you need! Set boundaries that allow you to say FUCK YES to more of what lights you up, and a hell no to what doesn’t.