myths about boudoir photography that need to go
Being a full time boudoir photographer for over 5 years now, I’ve heard some shit. I’ve heard a lot of preconceived notions about what “boudoir photography” is, I’ve heard a lot of reasons for not wanting to do a shoot and writing it off entirely. I thought, what the hell, let’s write a post about some of the myths around this type of healing art form that need to get the f*ck out.
#1: “that’s not boudoir”
I’ve heard this about certain types of editorial styles, shooting boudoir outside, shooting in anything other than lingerie. Basically if it doesn’t fit the very small box of what some people think “boudoir” is – I get the “that’s not boudoir” comment.
WEELLLLLL I’m here to tell you that boudoir is whatever the f*ck you want it to be. It’s an idea and a feeling more than a strict set of rules on how to shoot. Boudoir is about liberation, celebration, freedom, and just being. It’s a container to explore yourself however you want to, to be the version of yourself you want to be. Whatever that means, or looks like. Sure, “boudoir photography” may have originated as “sexy” photos taken in a bedroom scene - but it’s evolved to be more than that - at least in my studio. Boudoir photography is about documenting and celebrating YOU - just you. It’s about being present in your body and committing to cultivating that relationship with self. And that can look like whatever the f*ck you want it to, baby.
#2: “i need to lose 10 pounds”
No, you don’t. Truly, you don’t. Like said above, boudoir photography is about celebrating yourself exactly as you are in this moment. It’s about committing to your relationship with self - and healing your mindset through this experience. You could lose 10 pounds, but if you don’t work on your mindset and your limiting beliefs around WHY you feel that way about your body image, you’ll just be 10 pounds lighter with just as much self-doubt and self-limiting thoughts. You don’t need to lose 10 pounds, you need to lose the idea that you aren’t good enough AS YOU ARE. Because you are enough, just as you are. I promise.
#3: “I could never look like that”
99.9% of people who have walked into my studio have had some variation of this fear: it’s imposter syndrome, darling. You can look this fearless, empowered, and in love with yourself.
#4: “I need nice lingerie!”
Lingerie/outfits are probably the least important part of the process. I’m serious. When I first started I used to think it was important, too. But as the fears went on and I learned and learned, I realized that it’s not what you wear that matters: it’s how you FEEL in it. You can walk into the studio in an old t-shirt with holes, but if you feel like a f*cking goddess in that ratty shirt, you will LOOK like one. Same goes with lingerie, or being naked. Show up with a suitcase of lingerie if that’s what makes you feel good - or show up with nothing at all. Either way you’re going to look amazing as hell.
#5: Boudoir photography is selfish/vain and I shouldn’t do it
Allowing ourselves to feel good and look good is interpreted as vain and selfish because the patriarchy doesn’t want you to realize that you can love yourself and give energy back to yourself. They want you to feel like shit so that you buy the shit they’re trying to sell you in magazines and ads. They don’t want you to know that you don’t actually need any of that crap, you just need to heal your relationship with your body, self, and mindset to become an all-powerful badass babe. Sounds cheesy - but it’s true. It’s another way they want you to feel small and powerless - because people with insecurities and self-doubts are so much easier to market and sell shit to. You’re also too preoccupied with doubting yourself and staying caught up in that cycle, that they can continue hoarding their power while we stay down here fighting each other horizontally. Throw that belief out the window. “Self love isn’t vanity, it’s sanity”.
